Far Away Looking Towards The Sun
by HarmonyGames
Summary: Harry has learnt that Hermione had been overcome with a rare sickness. At best his friend has about a year. But how can he learn to live without the one he loves. Especially when she doesnt't even know it and is in love with another.
1. Slowly Death Creeps upon us

**So tell me if you like it. Just sort of had this idea for a little while.**

"No, we can't do anything, there is no known cure or prevention. At best she has a year"

I stood looking at her shocked. "No, that can't be possible"

"I'm sorry dear, I know she's a good friend of yours"

"But, your going to do everything you can for her right?"

"We have been working on a cure and or prevention, we are close, but I doubt it'll be in less than a year. But she may be lucky, survival rate of this is 1 out of 100."

I shake my head. Mumble thanks and leave. I look in on her one last time. I was going to say goodbye. But it looks like she's asleep. She will be coming home tomorrow anyways.

I Look out of the small window in the hospital room.. It's raining, Hermione hasn't woken yet and it's already 2:00. I feel alone. Nobody else has come yet. Ron is with his family, cleaning house and said he'd come at 4:00. The last healer was here around 1:15 to check on her. If she didn't look so peaceful in her sleep, I would wake her. I continue looking out into the dreary grey sky.

"Harry" I hear a soft voice call.

"Hey how are you feeling" I ask

"Just a little tired" She replied "what time is it?"

"Three" I reply "Ron is coming at 4:00"

"Oh, alright, So.. When are we getting out of here?" She asks.

"Tonight, I think, around 6:00"

"Good" She smiles "So we can go shop for school tomorrow"

I breathe it deeply "Hermione, have they told you yet" I ask

She nods and turns away from me. I hear her softly crying. I want to say something, but somehow I can't bring myself to say anything.

"Hey" I finally say "it's going to be alright"

She turns around to face my and I wipe a tear from her cheek. I smile, she looks awfully sad. I can't imagine how she's feeling right now. Obviously she's scared. Nervous about what might happen to her. 1 in 100 replays over in my head.

"Lets go and get some tea or something" I say.

Hermione slowly gets up and we walk up to the cafe. We choose a table in the far end of the room.

"So" She asks "anything new?"

"Not really... I mean school starts soon, only six days. I guess we better get ready hey. I haven't gotten any supplies."

"Yeah." Hermione interupts, sixth year, only two more years"

She relizes what she just said and puts her tea down. I look at her.

"Look at me... your fine, it's going to be alright. Just don't worry about it." I tell her.

She doesn't speak a word, she just looks down ar her feet, for the longest time. I can't believe what's happened to her in the past few days. It's been harsh. I couldn't imagine having to live without her. Even though we only see each other during the school months. Just knowing that she's not here anymore. I can't think of a world without her. Whoever would have thought that it would happen to her.

"why don't we bring our tea back to the room" I suggest.

"Yeah, that would be better" Hermione smiles.

We turn into the room and Ron is sitting in the chair.

"Hey" He says.

I see Hermiones face lighten up as he pulls her into a hug.

"feeling alright?" Ron asks her.

"Yeah I'm fine"

"good to hear it, coming home with us tonight?"

"I think so" Hermione says "If everything turns out alright"

I pull Ron aside. I know he doesn't know about her. After I tell him everything he looks even more shocked than I did.

"No, not Hermione, she told me she was fine" He pauses for a while "How long?"

"They told me she has a year at best"

"Does she..."

"Yeah she knows." I interupted.

Soon It's time for all of us to leave. Rons mother will be coming to pick Hermione and the rest of us up. Were going to diagon alley tomorrow to pick up some things for school. I really don't believe the things that happened to us. What will we ever do without her.

**Thanks so much for reading! Review!**


	2. Slow Dying Flower

**Hey! How are you all! Thanks for all the support on this story and all the other so far!**

**Chapter 2: Slow dying Flower**

* * *

It was dark when we left that night. Hermione wasn't speaking to anyone. I let her be, i could tell that she needed to be alone. I didn't want to say anything to upset her. She needs some time to sort things out.

"Harry?" she calls.

"yes?" I smile, I can see in her eyes that she's hurting. She looks so small and sickly, like she hasn't been eating in days.

"You think I could live through this?' She asks me.

"Yeah, I really do, but you got to take care of yourself, don't let yourself waste away just because you think that you wont live."

"Whats the point if I'm going to die anyways. Why not just live freely, just give up, forget about the problems. Why not just have some fun and let go of everything else?"

"Because you can't live that way, you have to be strong... Be stong for me." I tell her hoping to get through to her.

"It's so hard to be strong when your world is crashing down around you..." Hermione tells me.

"Stop being so negative! You're not like this Hermione whats gotten into you?"

"I'm slowly dying, whats there to be happy about?" She asks me.

"You have a family who loves you... you have friends, Hermione you have a great life." I tell her smiling.

"I HAD a great life, there are so many things i'll never get to do, I won't fall in love, I'll never have a family. I won't habe children, I'll never get a job..." Hermione replies.

"Whats so great about a job?" Ron asks.

"It's a sense of accomplishment" I tell him happily.

I sigh, what on earth could I do for her. She's dying before my very eyes and she seems so sad all the time. She needs us now more than ever. I cant just sit here and watch her die. I have to find a way to heal her... I've fallen in love with a slow dying flower.

* * *

**Hermione**

"we need to get our books" I state.

"I need to get some new school robes, mine are too short" Harry tells us.

"I think that I have everything, I'd like to stop by the apothecary though, and as you said I need by sixth year books too"

"Well I guess we could go to the bookshop, It's just down that way, why dont we head there now" Ron suggests.

"Why am I doing this... Whats the point if I'm going to die at the end of the year anyways." I complain.

"You love school Hermione, Why wouldn't you want to be with your friends. You belong there with us."

"Harry, I'm just wasting everybodys time. I'm taking up space that could be used for somebody much more important than I am. somebody who's not going to die in less than a year somebody who is much more important than me."

"Hermione there is nobody who is more important than you." Harry tells me.

"So many people will do greater things than I ever will" I reply.

"You as a person are just as important as everybody else. You are so Important to me and Ron, we don't know what we would do without you."

"You will both grow up to be great people, you'll have the chance to get a Job, have children and get married, live somewhere nice, go travel the world if you wish... I'll just die..."

"Hermione there are people much worse off than you, they can't afford anything"

"but they get to live Harry, I don't"

"Hermione, stop, just stop okay. I don't want to hear another comment about death or how your worthless or how you think other people are more important than you, it's all not true. I don't want you believing it's true either."

* * *

**Harry**

Hermione sighs "I never asked for this you know. I had so many things I wanted to accomplish, before I died but now... I may never get the chance too."

"Hermione! Thats it. I don't want to hear one more word about this or I'll... I'll"

"You'll What!" She yells glaring at me.

"I'll leave you here, you can find your own way to school, you can find you own place to stay and you can forget about being friends!"

Hermione looks at me, I can clearly see that I hurt her. Before I even think or have the chance to say another word she turns around and leaves.

"Fine!" She calls "But don't come crawling to me for help with you stupid schoolwork, because I'm sick over having to help you with everything!"

"Hermione! Wait come on I really didnt mean It like that! Please stop!" I call after her.

When I finally reach her she turns around and I can see she's been crying already.

"Do you know what its like Harry?"

"I don't know, sort of. Voldemort has been trying to kill me for years."

She looks at me and I can see shes trying to force a smile.

"No the same is it?" I ask.

Hermione shakes her head "Not exactly, you know when it's coming, you can protect yourself and have people who can protect you. I'm dying and nobody can stop that, nobody can protect me.."

"Don't worry sweetheart." I pull her into a hug. "I won't let you go that easily."

* * *

**Hermione**

I look out the window of the train. "so you ready?" I ask my friends wanting to avoid the ackward scilence thats been hanging over us so far.

"I guess so" Ron replies. "It's school, nothing much exciting happens there"

I smile "you should work hard, at least you'll be able to do something with your education later on in life"

He stares at me with a blank expression on his face for the longest time, as if he's waiting for me to say something else, obviously he's at a loss for words.

"You know you have a chance of living, don't you Mione, you might survive this right?"

"NO! don't you get it, I have no chance of living! None enjoy having me here while you can because next year you're on your own!" I yell

"Bloody hell Hermione, calm down! You're going to be just fine!"

"stop lying to me, stop comforting me, don't remind me of the only chances I have of living. It will only make it worse when I die."

I just look at the both of them all three of us silent. I don't feel like talking, not to my friends, not to anyone. Since when have I been like this? Where is my courage, where is my will to go on. I feel like lately it's been absent. Where to I belong. Certainly not here. Surely I am not Brave at heart, What a stupid Childish fear to be afriad of death.

* * *

**Harry**

I can tell she's not doing well, my best friend. How can I tell her that I love her? She's dying and it would only hurt the both of us. She's always wanted to fall in love. But whats the point? After this year chances are that she will be gone, but this time she'll never be coming back, I'll have to live without her forever.

What am I doing to her? She wants to talk and I'm shutting her out. Why? For my own selfish reasons. I didn't want to hear hear talk about dying because I was sick of it. NOw she may never tell me about it again. She may never want to talk to me about it again and thats what she really needs right now. She needs to talk to somebody about this. I hope I haven't crushed her courage. Hopefully she'll ask me for help when she really needs it. Hopefully she hasn't lost all hope and trust in me or what little hope I could provide her with. I don't want her to die, Because I need her and she needs me.

"Harry" I hear her soft voice call "We better get changed into our school robes, We'll be arriving at the school soon."

"Alright" I smile, simply not wanting to upset her more than I already have.

Now I can stop thinking about death, Her death, my death. Life after death. Gosh she must be so scared. Then theres me I have to be an unsensitve little prat about everything. What am I doing to her? I do love her after all.

* * *

**Hermione**

I don't know what I'm going to do. I guess I'll just try to carry on life normally. I know It can never be normal. What childish fears I have. Death, what a stupid thing to be afraid of. I can't stop it, why even try? I'm amazed that even my friends are putting up with me. I must be so annoying to them. Why sould they care, I know they are my friends and all but they get to live. They aren't the ones dying. They don't know what it's like, I guess they won't know what they have until it's gone.

"Hello Hermione!" I hear a soft voice call.

"Oh hello Luna, How are you?" I smile.

"Good, and What about you, feeling aright, how have you been?"

"Why would you ask me all that" Hermione laughed.

"Ginny told me everything, I'm so sorry Hermione"

"Oh, I say quietly, please don't say anything to abybody else" I ask her.

Luna nods. "Alright, sure Hermione" With that she walks away, Humming to herself.

* * *

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